What I learnt about people at the university - Selim Van-Lare
Well, after four years in university, I think I have learnt a few things about people that I feel I must share with the world.
Some of what I have learnt are through personal experiences and observations while others are ‘word on the street’.
I know I am yet to face more challenges in life and to meet more people who will wow me with their characters but people really make the world a fun place to live in sometimes. People's behaviour, character and reaction to certain things makes all the difference in this life.
All my life, from primary to SHS I have met people but most of them have been restricted by school rules.
My primary and SHS colleagues could not readily express who they truly were morally and psychologically all the time -- all because they would be expelled and their parents would have their heads.
However, even in this instance, some of the people I encountered at SHS defied rules, their stories were different from most SHS students.
If you were a student at a strict SHS like mine was – Wesley Girls by the way – you will definitely be groomed, maybe even tamed. The school would tame that wild part of you. But some people were exceptions to the rule.
This is not to say the rules and regulations in universities are not strict. Fact is in the university, students are free to do what they want morally without the school or their parents breathing down their necks.
University is a free place, it could either build or destroy you.
This is not a cliché, or some hypothesis. It’s a fact. Whatever decision you take goes a long way to affect you.
I have made some bad decisions I will regret for a long time to come, and I’ve made some good ones too. Some of them are too good I will forever be happy I made them. I learnt that among other things at the university that what matters most is not to lose yourself or your value at the end of your course.
But importantly I have learnt that even if you lost some of your value by the decisions you made, you must work to preserve the little of what is left.
Now, I begin to recount my lessons at the university. I hope it helps.
1 - People lie
Well, if you’ve grown up around a lot of honest people, you very much likely to be very gullible to the tank of lies some people will pour on you.
I thought some the lies were the ones I only see in movies. My dear reader people can lie oooo!
This is not a joke. From the girl who calls her sugar daddy her uncle to the guy who brags about the number of girls he has slept with to the matured student who talks about the ‘mansion’ he lives in when he is in a chamber and hall, it never ends.
What I learnt? Till thine eyes behold the physical evidence, don’t believe squat!
2 - You are free to do what you want, but in that freedom lies possible destruction
I am sure I have already emphasised this point in my introduction.
You are free to do what you want but there are consequences, and of course some of the actions may land you in trouble.
You can dress how you want to lectures, eat whatever you want and do whatever you want. Some people become overwhelmed by this freedom and it gets into their head.
Before long they realise they’ve hit rock bottom.
Quite a number of girls I know lost their virginity in first year all because they were free. Freedom can be a dangerous thing.
3 People have no shame
It will surprise you the things people will do for fame or just for fun.
Sometimes I wonder if they think about the future. I am sure the things people did at university would scar their descendants for a whole generation.
Let us not talk about the sex tapes and leaked nude pictures. Let us talk about manners – basic simple everyday etiquette people should know about.
Before I went to the university, I learnt that when you borrow something, you return it. When you spoil something, you apologise. You knock before you enter someone’s bathroom. Make sure you don’t leave your dishes unwashed. Kitchen sinks are not for brushing of teeth or washing of panties, they are for dishes. You do not leave your food in someone else’s fridge for it to get rotten. Don’t take someone’s belongings without asking. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are the magic words. It’s simple, it is not rocket science, right? But not for some people I encountered in the university.
Come on!!!! Didn’t they read ‘Courtesy for Boys and Girls’? Let me stop here before I write my own version of it.
Bottom-line: Some people have no shame and they do not care if their actions affect you or not.
4 - Not every Christian is a Christian
Ladies, the fact that his tpm (tongues per minute) is faster than a Ferrari or he sees into the future or when he grabs the mic to lead worship, angels descend doesn’t mean he is Jesus Christ.
A man is a man no matter how he looks like or what he does.
It will surprise you what some of these church guys are capable of and the hearts and hymens they have broken.
And guys, I am pleading with you, not all church girls angels. She already knows who she is going to spend her life with. She will spend your money very well. Hey, I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger but she ain’t messing with your broke a**.
5 - Guys will do anything for the BOOTY!!!
What your mama told you is not false, please he will do anything just to get into your panties.
Even if he will borrow huge sums of money from his friends to please you.
What I learnt: Just be alert and lookout for the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
6 - Heartbreaks are real and they have real effects
Quite a number of people had their first heartbreaks in the university. It came as a shock to a lot of people.
Sometimes, one can just pause and say ‘oh so that’s how a broken heart feels like’. It’s going to take you by surprise. I am not saying all the guys and ladies in the university are heartless. I am not saying the fact that you enter a relationship in the university means you’re destined for a heartbreak.
People found their life partners in the university, just guard your heart and your mind. Just make sure that your relationship doesn’t kill you.
7 - Weirdos exist. Just that, nothing more to say!
8 - Not everybody will like you
For those of you who can’t stand the thought of people disliking you, well, you’re in for a whole new deal.
Some people will dislike you for no reason. You haven’t done anything to them or caused them any trouble but they just hate you, no reason.
You have to deal with it because after all, ‘haters gon hate, potatoes gon potate’. That’s just the way it is.
9 - Work hard, play harder
Study smart and hard, trust me. I am not exaggerating you have to learn. It is not a joke unless you’re a genius by nature.
I learned that when you learn (and pray), you’ll pass your exams. All you need to do is to put your mind to it and you will do it.
But at the end of the day, have good fun – fun is wired into our DNA.
Sorry I ended on an odd number, but that is all I have to share.
If you are on your way to the university these lessons I have shared will probably prove very useful or you may remember it after falling victim of people’s schemes. Whatever happens I wish you the best and safe journey to the land of new experiences.
src: Selim Van-Lare
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